Reading has become an important part of my learning and development over the years. And it's not just for the sake of learning new things; reading also helps me better understand myself and those around me. Sometimes reading can help you put words to things you feel, believe, or know but can't express. Every year, I try to reflect on some of the most interesting books I've read, both for my own personal reflection and to share with anyone who might find them useful. So here we go!
Start with Why: How Great Leaders Inspire Everyone to Take Action - Simon Sinek
I believe "Start with Why" is an excellent read for anyone despite it focusing more on leaders and businesses. Throughout the book, Simon emphasises the importance of "The Golden Circle": the why, how, and what—in that order. The book's central focus is that great leaders inspire others not because of what they do, but because of WHY they do it. It's difficult to argue with that. While the HOW and WHAT are important, they rarely differentiate anyone in the long run. Besides, many people and businesses do the same thing in very similar ways. It is mostly the WHY, our unique stories, that distinguishes people and businesses. It is also the WHY that determines WHAT is needed and HOW to get or give it. I think this can be extended to any decision making process in one's personal life.
My only criticism for the book is how it perhaps didn’t need to be that long considering the key message was conveyed fully in few chapters. I loved the anecdotes anyways.
“There are only two ways to influence human behaviour: you can manipulate it or you can inspire it.”
- Simon Sinek -
Crime and Punishment, & Brothers Karamazov – Fyodor Dostoyevsky
This isn't so much a recommendation of a certain book as it is of the author. Born in 1821 in Moscow, Russia, and trained as a military engineer, Dostoyevsky is one of the most prolific novelists of all time, particularly in human psychology. In all his books, Dostoyevsky takes you on an educational—yet thrilling—journey into the 19th century Russia; the culture, drinking dens of St Petersburg and the quintessential details of ordinary life there. Dostoyevsky has a unique ability to bring characters to life, mainly, I think, because he draws his writing from a keen observation of real life around him and his own vivid experiences—imprisonment in Siberia, escaped death sentence, unhealthy wife, unhappy marriage, economic hardships, name it! His novels are serious works of human psychology told in a humorous and relatable manner that softens the (philosophical) content. Dostoyevsky's books, from "Notes from the Underground" to my most recent reads, have been helpful in navigating a periodic sense of purposelessness and what you'd call an existential crisis during university. I also appreciated the humour in his writing style and the insight into Russian life and literature at the time.
Dostoyevsky's books are difficult to read at first, due in part to translations, but once you get the hang of them, you won't be able to put them down..
“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.”
- Dostoyevsky, Brothers Karamazov -
The course of love - Alain de Botton
"The Course of Love" is not the type of book I usually read. I believe I found it in Twitter comments. Anyways, I am glad I did. The book is more of an exploration of relationships and love through the various phases using a regular couple, Rabih and Kirsten, as a case study. “The Course of Love" is craftily written as a story with the author’s commentaries throughout. I believe Alain does an excellent job of presenting intensely honest and realistic glimpses of a real romantic relationship; the often-unusual birth and evolution of love, early dates, silly arguments followed by blissful moments, uncommunicated needs etc. If you have been in a relationship before, you’d relate with numerous experiences that Rabih and Kirsten go through. You’d repeatedly chuckle at the realisation that what you thought were exceptional to you or your partner are common to many, but no one dares share that.
Even though I raised my eyebrows on some of Alain’s comments, I think “The course of love” is a great book for anyone in a relationship (at any stage) or any curious mind.
“We don't need to be constantly reasonable in order to have good relationships; all we need to have mastered is the occasional capacity to acknowledge with good grace that we may, in one or two areas, be somewhat insane.”
- Alain de Bottom -
A Grief Observed - C.S. Lewis
A reflective book. Not for everyone of course, as one reviewer of the book said “It’s not the thing you reach for in times of sunshine and cloudless days and a future of beautiful forevers. It’s the thing you reach for when you are casting about in the dark, looking for something, anything, that might help.” The past few years have not been the easiest for most people, me included. Years after ignoring it, I found myself thinking more about the people I have lost, such as my dad—and empathising with close friends who’ve had personal loses.
Although the book does not directly relate to me, it’s a profound eye-opener on the lonely and confusing journey a grieving person goes through. In “A Grief Observed”, C.S. Lewis, one of the greatest minds of all time and a terrific writer, grapples with the loss of his wife to cancer through journaling. In the first half of the book, the Anglican lay theologian journals his anguish and vents his rage at God—calling him names, such as “Comic Sadist” who waits for him to find love of his life at 58 only to take her away four years later. The book also serves as a reminder that, whether you’re a believer or not, there is usually no simpler way to deal with grief. Even in reconciliation of his grief with faith in the end, you see that Lewis still has no clear answer to his pain.
PS: This book is not a recommendation to anyone going through grief. Everyone’s experience is different, and the book was written in 1960s when counselling was uncommon, which might be more useful for some. But I still think it’s a good read even just for understanding other people experiencing bereavement in our lives.
" No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid "
- C.S. Lewis -
Disclaimer: I neither subscribe to every philosophy of any author here nor do I agree with everything in any single book. However, I still think these are great books that I would re-read. Comment or reach out for a chat.
コメント